Imposter Syndrome... I'm a Fraud.

Have you ever done something that, by definition, you're generally good at, only to be like, "Who do I even think I am? Pretty pompous of me to think that I can do something like that. I don't have the training. So many people are better at that than me. I need to stick to what I know."

Like, this blog thing. I started it for a few reasons. Mostly, I wanted to share some of the knowledge I'd gained in my self-love journey with others. I also have generally been a decent writer, and knew it would be a good way to share my knowledge. I had a confidence in this avenue, and ran with it. And it felt good.

Then, suddenly, I backed off. "Why would I even think I could create a blog? What do I even know? I am not even writing in proper format. My thoughts are scattered. I didn't go to college for composition. So many other people have it worse- why do I think my stories would help anyone? People will just think I'm starved for attention. I'm so not qualified to be a blogger."

And just like that, I go from posting fun blogs for people to enjoy, to publishing nothing. And down the rabbit hole I go.

This phenomenon I speak of is called Imposter Syndrome. And that's actually a very real thing for a lot of people.

Lucky for you all, I decided to sit down with my crappy thoughts and negative self, and delve deeper into this topic. I've come up with exactly what Imposter Syndrome is, the type of people who suffer from it, and some badass ways to overcome it.

(Throughout this particular article, I will use examples from my blogging journey. I encourage you to apply your own examples, with whatever applies to you. You might really be surprised at what you come up with, when you really stop and think about it!)

When it comes to the actual definition of Imposter Syndrome, I did this really technical thing called 'Google-ing it.' The first answer that popped up defined it as: a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist, despite evident success.

Not good enough?

Let's check another super credible source: Wikipedia. 'A psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent, internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.'

Ok. So now that we have some definitions, I'll give you what it is to me.

Imposter Syndrome is when you KNOW you KNOW how to do something-well. (In my case, um, write about topics close to me.) But you've let the voices in your head convince you that you actually really suck at said something. You're a giant liar. (How dare I refer to myself as a blogger, or tell people to read my blog?! I am NOT worthy. What if people find out I'm not qualified for this shit?!?)

Maybe this Imposter Syndrome resonates with you.

Maybe it's about as foreign as Chinese.

In my opinion, there are a couple of types of people who are more likely to empathize with and suffer from Imposter Syndrome.

The first type of person who's likely to become a victim of this Syndrome is a driven, goal-oriented person. This is the type of person who isn't content with their normal day-to-day. They are searching for something more. They know there's more. They know they have so much to offer. This person cares about the end result. They're invested in whatever they've decided to do, be it their every day job, or something on top of that. They give a shit. They WANT to do well and succeed, at whatever they've decided to do.

Because this person is so invested in what they're doing, they can overthink how to be the best they can be. They game-plan and, in doing so, can see where they come up short. After seeing areas they can improve, they go overboard. They are so hard on and critical of themselves that suddenly it goes from simple improvements, to feeling like they shouldn't be doing anything at all. They just suck. They are an Imposter, and people are totally gonna see it.

Enter Brittany the Blogger.

I'm confident in my ideas. I'm a bit of an introvert, so I'll write instead of say. I can form full sentences and spell, so... Bonus. I start this blog. I'm doin' it. I'm loving it. I'm feeling confident, and doing just what I should be doing.

Then I start planning some more blog posts. Or trying to write some fresh material. I start, but don't like what I have on the paper. I begin to dive into why I don't like what I'm reading. I come to the conclusion that my material isn't just right. This sends me into a spiral. I begin to question why I would even be writing at all. I can't say what I'm trying to. I'm privileged, overall, so why would I sit there and talk about my problems? Nobody would even want to read this crap. I'm so not qualified to be handing out my advice. And on. And on.

And suddenly it's been well over a month since my last post. Initially, I wanted to put out new material once a week. And because I'm a fake and a fraud, my confidence is low. And I'm not sharing the good stuff anymore.

Who benefits?

No. One.

Imposter Syndrome wins. Boo.

The second type of person who can suffer from Imposter Syndrome is actually someone with *surprise* low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.

Think about it.

When a person with low self-esteem tries anything, they are already starting from a lower vibe place. Instead of moving forward with confidence, they are just trying to get on the same level as everyone who they think is better than them.

They are starting from way behind the starting line.

When this happens, they'll never catch up. Even if they are really really good at whatever they're doing. So when they're just trying to catch everyone else, they never get to that point where they feel like them or their work is good enough.

By default, they're an imposter. Why are they even trying? They'll never be as good as anyone else.

Annnnd back to me. The confidence-lacking blogger.

As mentioned above, that confidence is already lacking, because I haven't put out that new material (that makes me feel alive!). I begin the comparison game to other blogs. I tell myself I'll never be as good of writer as them, so why am I even trying still?

Or, occasionally, I'll hear a judgement, and immediately let it apply to me/get to me. When a crotchety old lady makes a snide comment about how "Everybody seems to be an author these days," even though she wasn't referring to me personally, I took it upon myself to take offense to it. I'm like, 'Yeah, I have no qualifications. WTF am I doing?'

**Side-Note-That-Doesn't-Really-Fit-Here-But-Is-Important-And-I-Don't-Know-Where-Else-To-Put-It: In reality, (and when I'm in a high-vibe place), I think it's pretty freaking cool that we have the means and tools available- internet/social media/etc.- to be able to put out material, that maybe we wouldn't have been able to do before. It's pretty amazing I can write something, and people can easily read and have access to it. In all reality, we have come a long way in the methods people can express themselves, and share their gifts.That's freaking awesome.**

So basically, when the confidence in yourself or what you are doing is lacking, you're bound to feel like an Imposter. And you'll likely not get very far.

Now that we've covered the icky, it's time to move forward! (Hello, I'm still that optimistic bitch you've all grown to know, love, and roll your eyes at!)

These are ways that I've personally tried to move forward. And they are even why you're reading this blog post right now. Had I not gotten my shit together and decided that I was, in fact, a capable blogger, this post would cease to exist.

Practice. Practice. And practice some more.

As obnoxious of an answer as this is.... it makes sense. If you feel like you aren't good enough, well- make yourself good enough. Hell, make yourself an expert. The only way we can get better at something is to practice it. And the better we get at it, the more confidence we have in whatever it is.

In my case, I keep writing. Over and over. That way, when the doubts creep in about my skill or ability to create a blog, I've got proof that I am, indeed, capable. And good at it. I'd never know if I simply stopped.

The next strategy? Talk yourself UP.

This can be a difficult one, especially if you've already disconnected with whatever you set out to do. Or if self-confidence is what's holding you back. But you have to remind yourself that you are a badass, totally capable, and revive that feeling within yourself that you had when you started. I don't care if you have to say it aloud to yourself in the mirror, or write it down, or tell your bestie. Just know you are awesome. And freaking BELIEVE it.

I personally had to remind myself that I'm actually a good writer. I am funny and witty. I feel things passionately. And I have this sense of purpose when I do it. I love that sense of FIRE in me when I do this blog thing. So I owe it to myself to believe in myself, and my abilities. I am GOOD at this. And I WILL do this.

One final thing that you can do, if you just can't seem to convince yourself that you're not, in fact, an imposter?

See yourself through the eyes of one of your fans.

Think of someone who thinks the world of you, or your skills. Think of what they've told you in the past. Think of the support they've given. Hell, make them give you a pep talk, and remind you!

Although this is technically a form of outside validation, which I am normally totally against, it can be a great way to get the ball rolling. It sets that fire within you again. It's a starting point. Just make sure you find that power within yourself, and you'll be killin' it again before you know it.

Thankfully, in this blog arena, I have so many supportive people. Some are close friends. Some are clients. Some are people I don't really even know. But I was able to have some outside reminders of my worthiness, and it lit the fire in me to vibrate higher. It gave me that confidence back that I was absolutely a blogger. And I can write a kick ass article if I just freaking do it already.

If you're still with me, I commend you.

That. Was. Lengthy.

But I had to to do it! I'm on fire today!

At the end of the day, we all have talents and gifts to share. We have to tap into those and just DO IT. Hard. All in. Completely.

And when the doubts creep in? That's just proof you're on the right track. If you weren't doing shit, you'd have nothing to doubt! So you're already ahead.

Anything you do that sets your soul on fire is not fake. Imposter Syndrome is something we sometimes let get the best of us. But we have the power inside of us to see the truth- we just have to do the work. And doing the work to be your best self? THAT's Luxuriously Dope.