Jealousy: Use it Correctly

There's an anonymous inspirational quote floating around out there on social media that says something like, "Someone is jealous of all of those things you hate about yourself."

And as cliche as it is... it's probably true.

Seriously.

Think about the last time you looked at someone and were jealous.

Maybe you were jealous of their ability to speak in public. Or of their gorgeous long hair. Or their outgoing and friendly nature. Or those six pack abs. Or their spotless house. Or whatever the hell else you don't have.

Now. Let's flip that.

That person with the public speaking ability? Maybe they can't hold a conversation with somebody face to face, to save their life. The girl with the long gorgeous hair? Maybe she would love nothing more than to cut it into a pixie, but doesn't have the self-confidence to do so. The outgoing and friendly one? Maybe they get themselves into trouble constantly, for saying things they shouldn't. The gym rat with the abs? It's genetics. And the uber clean house? Maybe they have OCD and can't help it.

It's all about perspective.

But when it comes to perspective, I truly believe it's way more productive to look inward and evaluate, than outward.

We can speculate all day long about other people's hang-ups to make ourselves feel better, or we can work on our own thought process.

What do I mean by that?

I mean look at your own shit and find the good stuff. Don't dwell on where you fall short, or compare.

I'll use myself as an example, because I'm kind of an expert there.

Back in the days when I felt small and insecure, it was often because I was picking myself apart. I would dwell on the things I didn't like. I wanted (and sometimes tried) to change or hide them. It's the only thing I could think about. Improving my crappy parts.

But in doing so, I was putting myself so far behind. I was starting from a place of 'lack' and constantly trying to play catch up, just to break even. How could I possibly be confident in anything, when my only focus was in catching up to others?

I hated that I wasn't outgoing or approachable. I hated my shyness. I hated that I was just 'smart' and lacked athleticism. I hated that I couldn't speak up. I hated that I was a pushover. I hated that I was boring. I hated that I wanted to be prettier.

The change for me truly came when I forced myself to start focusing on my good qualities, strengths, and talents. I began to expand on those, instead.

I was like, "Hey girl, you are pretty freaking smart. And you can write pretty well. And you are so damn optimistic. And you don't have those six pack abs, but your genetics treated you well in the leg department. And you are good at making people feel pretty. And you are such a good listener, and can have a one-on-one conversation with just about anyone. And, maybe best of all, you're witty af.'

It was only when I decided to start expanding and embracing these traits that I was able to move forward. It was actually fun to put effort into things that I actually already enjoyed or was good at.

And you know what?

By default, my life began moving forward in a positive and productive way. I began feeling a confidence in myself that I'd never had. I could finally look at my life, and instead of being jealous of someone else, I could look at things in my life that might possibly make OTHERS jealous! (As weird as that sounds, it's a great way to find what your strengths might be, if you're having trouble thinking of them. I don't actively set out to make people jealous on the daily. I just know what my strengths are! I snack on that Humble Pie, occasionally, too...)

Another BONUS result of being able to confidently move forward? You'll be able to tackle any of those negative, gross, nasty jealous feelings you previously had towards certain topics, and work on THOSE EXACT THINGS.

Instead of just being jealous and unhappy you don't have abs, you have the confidence to start trying to get them! Instead of being jealous of that spotless house, you'll start one room at a time in your house. Jealous of that girl's long hair? You'll be like, "Why CAN'T I have extensions? Less gooooo!" Or you'll be able to write that book. Or get that job. Or have that life you want- Simply because you began taking note of your strengths, becoming confident in them, and using them to propel yourself forward. It will give you the confidence to create and tackle goals in areas you never thought you could.

We are all so different.

It's amazing to me that we get so caught up in focusing on the negative, and trying to be like somebody else.

Find what makes you excited.

Find what you're really good at.

Find what makes you feel proud.

And GO DO THAT.

It will give you the confidence to move forward, not only in the good parts of your life, but to be brave enough to push forward in everything. Even the hard, used-to-be-jealous-of-that stuff.

I can't tell you just how good it feels to finally say, "I'm worth it. I have something to offer. It's why I'm here. I'm going to feel and do my best. I'm confident. And I'm happy with me."

I'd even say, it's Luxuriously Dope.