Stop Talking Shit

We've all done it.

We need to stop it.

But we need to start with ourselves.

How many times in a day do you think you talk negatively about yourself? Seriously. I'd be willing to bet it's more than you think.

'Duh, why do I always do that?'

'You're so dumb.'

'That skirt will never look good on me.'

'I wish had it together like her.'

'What is wrong with me?'

And on... and on... and on.

Even though we don't realize it, we are constantly beating ourselves down. Even when someone compliments us, it's often, 'Thanks, I didn't even wash my hair today.' Or, 'Thanks, it's all I could find to wear.' Or perhaps,'Thanks, I just winged it and got lucky.' Like, there's no chance whatsoever that we could actually be competent enough to do cool things. (I'm VERY guilty of this one!)

It's no wonder we're always fighting an uphill battle with ourselves! We can't even begin to move forward, when we've already put ourselves (and self-esteem) two steps back! And if you're willing to speak to yourself this way, the very person you should strive to love most, then how easy is it for you to speak down towards others? Seriously, think about it. If we don't like ourselves enough to speak kindly, it's going to put us in one helluva mood or mental state. And when that happens, how easy do you think it will be to put others down? We become negative, nasty, victimized, grouchy, asshole, low-vibe individuals. (You just pictured someone you know that fits that description perfectly, didn't you? Don't be that person.)

How exactly do we avoid being that person? We learn to stop talking shit: To and about ourselves. Instead of picking apart our perceived flaws, let's start seeking out what we do well. Let's start taking a lesson in how we can improve when we make a mistake, instead of feeling like a failure. Let's start saying 'Thanks!' When someone compliments you, instead of justifying why it's not entirely true. Let's start viewing ourselves in a positive light, instead of constantly seeing the negative we need to improve on.

Because I'm an example girl, I'm gonna give you a perfect example from my day yesterday. I could have looked at it like this:

'Ugh, I'm the worst. My workout yesterday morning was terrible. I got impatient with Sophie and yelled at her. I could've mixed that color a tiny bit differently for that lady's hair, and I would have liked it more. My own hair looked like crap, how does anyone trust me to do theirs? I should have written that blog post that I told myself I would after work. I didn't do it. I probably won't finish it today either. It's overwhelming. Nobody cares what I have to say anyway. I made Sophie sad when I told her it was time for bed, and yelled at her for squeezing the cat. I wish I had my shit together.'

Daaaamn, mama.

How about this, though:

'I got my ass outta bed and worked out. It may not have been my best, but I know it makes me feel better when I do. I was to work on time! And I rocked 5 colors yesterday. I know what I'm doing, and I'm good at it. Turns out, I can rock a messy ponytail with this dirty hair. I didn't get that blog post written, but how cool is it that I still have the opportunity to even do it?! I have so many awesome ideas to share with the world, I can't narrow it down- tomorrow, I pick a topic and go! I sat down and played with Soph, and really listened to her. I laughed. So much. She's fantastic, and I'm actually killing this parenting thing. My shit is totally together- in my own awesome Brittany way.'

See the difference? The negative views, and picking myself apart got me nowhere, except pissed off, negative, and stuck. I wouldn't want to move forward with that mindset, and would have thrown in the towel. But how about that second one? I'm finding the good things about my day, and noticing my strengths. Because I did that, I was able to move forward today. This very post is proof. And I've appreciated the hell out of my baby so much more. (And don't even get me started on the good things this does for my own daughter: an optimistic, confident, grateful mama? That's incredibly powerful. And it's a post for another day.)

When you can start with yourself, it naturally radiates outward from there. When you love yourself, you start from a positive place. Good vibes. Good energy. That puts you ahead of the game already. You won't feel the need to put others down to make yourself feel better. You already know you're the shit. And so are they, in their own way. So why even go there?! You'll walk taller, knowing that what you have to offer the world is more than enough. And that will allow others the freedom to do the same.

So yes. I'm being disgustingly optimistic and saying, 'Be that bright light.' You can do this by speaking kindly to yourself. Stop beating yourself down. Make it a point to find good characteristics about yourself, and focus on moving forward with those. Make a list if you need to. Set a reminder to note those awesome characteristics. Evaluate what you did well today. Say it out loud, if you're into that type of thing. Self-love starts with self-like. Be the type of person you'd like to hang out with.

And for the love, stop talking shit. That's Luxuriously Dope.