Yeah, Ok. And Then What?

That’s a phrase (some semblance of it, anyway) that has been a thing for me lately.

Sounds dumb, but let me explain. I really think there are definitely some that could use this advice- both people needing to motivate themselves, as well as people who make it their business to be in everyone else’s.

So for situation 1: People wanting to do or try something. Could be something new. Something outside the box. Something different.

Let’s just use the example of, say, posting a picture of yourself on your social media. In a bikini. For some it’s no big deal. But when you’ve been shown that the only ‘acceptable’ photos to post once you’re a mom is cute kid ones... it’s, uh... scary.

What will people think of me?

Will they get the wrong impression of me?

Why can’t I just do what I want to do, without fear of opinions?

What stories will be made up about me by insecure people?

Why am I questioning it, when if I lived somewhere else, I wouldn’t be?

Is it because I run into these people daily?

And on... and on... and on.

Know what ends up allowing me to push that post button?

That question: ‘Yeah, ok. Then what?’

‘If I post this pic, people will think that I’m full of myself.

Q: Yeah, ok. Then what?

A: Uhhh....that’s not true. Q: Yeah, ok. Then what?

A. They could say other things about me.

Q: Yeah, ok. Then what?

A: Then they do.

Q: Yeah, ok. Then what?

A. Literally nothing at all actually happens.

Q: Yeah, ok. Then what?

A: I post it, and keep in my lane, doing the things that make me happy, while allowing others to do the same.

I keep going with the questions until I realize that it‘s in my best interest to move forward with said picture, knowing where my intentions lie. If people don’t get that... it’s on them.

Now for the second type.

This group is gonna be the people who are actually doing the running of their mouths. The ones who’s opinions we are actually hiding from, for some messed up reason.

So the next time you find yourself talking shit about sometime, maybe consider this stance.

Q: Did you see Brittany’s pic she posted? In the bikini? She’s so full of herself.

A: Yeah, ok. Then what?

Q: But it’s so inappropriate for a mom.

A: Yeah, ok. Then what?

Q: She probably has no self-respect!

A: Yeah, ok. Then what?

Q: Then, well, I don’t do that, so I must be better than her, right?

A: Yeah, ok. Then what?

Turns out.... it kills that convo pretty quickly, because it’s CLEAR that there’s really nothing negative going on- it’s just an issue you have within yourself that is getting triggered by a shot of a woman in a damn swimsuit.

Opinion, if you will. Not fact.

This applies to any situation, as well. Just because someone is living their life differently than you, that doesn’t automatically make them wrong. And I wish that more people could begin asking themselves these questions when getting all insecure, because it would force people to focus on their own lives, take inventory, and maybe improve their own.

Some people will always just be insecure and unhappy, regardless. Their only excitement in their day to day is spreading the latest judgement and gossip, because it somehow makes them feel superior.

‘Look at her. Over there, living her life, differently from me. How dare she.’

Yeah, ok. And then what?

It’s actually almost laughable.

You do you, girl. The rest of us will be over here, using our brains for good.

And probably having a helluva lot more fun, too.

And fun is Luxuriously Dope. 🖤

** A couple of important things to note here.

1. This idea stems from advice in Jen Sincero’s ‘You Are A Badass’ book.

2. I have definitely been the girl in situation 2, more than I’d like to admit. But I’m consciously working on it. Like, hard.

3. This post refers to factual, real things that people want to judge. I’m not talking about when untrue gossip is being spread. That’s just garbage, and the people who participate in the spreading of the garbage (and then smile when they see you)? That’s a reflection of their spirit. Don’t stoop to that level and waste your time even trying. Hang with those in your corner, who have your back. The trash will eventually take itself out.