Chokehold

I have anxiety.

Debilitating, heart-racing, dizzying, panic-inducing, boulder on my chest, hands around my throat, must-fix-it-now anxiety.

My body responds to threats (real or perceived) before my brain even has a chance to catch up.

(Like, my body literally can’t tell the difference between getting chased by a lion, and someone being upset with me. Equal panic and adrenaline.)

While there are medications out there that I’m sure work great (and maybe I should be on!), I’ve been entertaining something new, and it seems to be easing the anxiety chokehold: Inviting it for a drink. (Coffee. Wine. Tea. Mom Water. Whatever your jam.)

What do you do when you invite someone for a beverage? You chat. You have a back and forth. You have a better understanding of each other.

It might look something like this:

‘Hey girl. I see you’re worked up as hell right now. That lump in your throat? You’re trying to make it go away through any means possible. Let’s hang with it for a minute. Just let it be. It’s there because there’s a chance somebody doesn’t like you, or you pissed someone off. Was it intentional? Or warranted? What will happen if you don’t remedy it right now? What if I said I totally understand why you did that? And it’s totally fine? Or it’s gonna be?’

The more I welcome the discomfort, sit with it, and analyze it (without simply trying to make it go away, immediately)… the chokehold releases.

It takes my body’s automatic response, and puts my brain back into the equation. It helps that self-trust tap back in.

Do I usually still want to fix the problem? Yes.

But I’m able to calm my nerves enough to know whether I should, or if I need to wait.

(Bonus: If you’re a people-pleaser, often times if you just give it a damn minute, you’ll realize you’re being ridiculous. Sitting on it for a day or 2 can make all the difference in the world.)

So if you’re an anxious people-pleaser like me, take note of your body.

When you feel the pressure of that chokehold, embrace it.

Don’t try to unwrap its fingers from your throat immediately.

Have a chat.

See if that grip loosens when the self-trust appears.

And if all else fails? There’s always those meds, too.

Go ahead. Invite anxiety’s chokehold for a drink. Loosen that panic grip. Because loosening up and being able to breathe again? That’s Luxuriously Dope. 🖤